A friend emailed me distraught over what she should do as a blogger. She wants to write. She loves writing. But she was feeling so frustrated and stressed over all the stuff she felt like she “had” to be doing in order to keep up her blog.
She didn’t want to have to devote most of her time online to updating Facebook, posting pictures to Instagram, interacting on Twitter, networking, writing guest posts, and trying to figure out new social networks.
She just wants to write and live her life. I get that.
While I love my community on Facebook, have met incredible people on Twitter, and really love Instagram, I’m not a rule-follower. I don’t want to be chained to a blogging and social media schedule.
I want to live my life and write as I’m inspired. Because if I spend most of my time trying to crank out posts and feed the social media beast, I have no life. Just a blog that rules my life.
I want this blog to be a blessing to my family, not a burden. I want my blog to be an outpouring of my life instead of blogging to be my life.
The only way I’ve found to do this is to break the blogging rules. Seriously.
Chuck them out the window and find the freedom that comes from not being tethered to your laptop. It’s a beautiful thing!
In place of the long held rules, here are two of my mantras that you are free to adopt:
1. You Don’t Have to Do What the Experts Say
There are a thousand and one things you are “supposed” to do if you want to grow and monetize your blogging platform. These can be helpful. These can work well. And I am happy to pass along great ideas I’ve discovered on this blog. But you are in no way under any circumstances obligated to do them.
And you know what else? There’s no stinkin’ way you can do them all — unless you want to drive yourself crazy and have a physical breakdown.
I think it’s easy to forget that the bloggers who blog often and have lots of different sections and tools on their blog didn’t start blogging yesterday. They’ve been at this for years (usually).
They’ve put in a lot of hours, gradually added parts of their site, learned how to do things more efficiently, set up a lot of things that run themselves, and brought on people to help them with all the details that pertain to running their site.
So if you’re a newer blogger, please don’t let the seasoned bloggers intimidate you. Also, don’t compare your blog to theirs or feel like you have to be doing exactly what they are doing if you have a shot at succeeding.
Pick the things you love and that work well for you and stick with those. Leave the other things be. Your blog will be just fine without them. And I guarantee you’ll end up enjoying it a lot more, too!
2. You Don’t Have to Do What the “Cool Kids” Do
Can I just say this? I sort of despise Pinterest.
Back when I started blogging, I had a white background, a text header, and a free blog template on Blogger. My pictures — when I actually
posted them — were atrocious.
But here’s the thing: nobody cared. I had thousands of readers on that plain white blog and they never complained.
Why? Because there wasn’t this almost-impossible-to-reach standard set up where you had to have a snazzy blog design, magazine-worthy photos, and maybe even a graphic design degree in order to blog.
You just wrote because you were passionate about your subject matter. And people listened.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m inspired by the mouthwatering photos and incredible ideas on Pinterest, but most of them are far beyond what I could accomplish myself. And that’s okay.
It’s perfectly acceptable to write about whatever I’m passionate about. To share less-than-perfect posts and photos. To not always get my posts up in a timely manner because real-life trumps blogging.
Instead of having a perfectly timed post with an amazingly-put together photo shoot, people seem happy to read about what’s on my heart whenever it is that I get it posted. So I’ve stopped worrying about what the cool kids are doing and have just started being who God created me to be.
And I’ve been a whole lot happier that way!
love this 🙂 my heart has always been, “I blog because I have something to say”
I LOVE this! There is so much pressure in the blogging world and so many to do’s. Thank you for being real! I share your sentiment of wanting to be a blessing to my family and not a burden. It’s a delicate balance.
Thanks so much for your encouragement!
I agree with Jayleen! Blogging should be such a blessing, but it is so hard to break into a new field and let the world we’re here, especially in health and wellness. I love what I do, and I do it because of what my family has been through. I’m at http://www.wetalkhealthy.com . Come check me out, and let’s collaborate where appropriate.
I’m so excited you’ve launched your new blog – congratulations! I’ve had my blog for a long time but haven’t had the time (or energy) to make it what I know in my heart of hearts it can be. However, I’m just going to keep plugging away and hopefully will learn some tips and tricks here to get it where I’d liked it to be. Again – congratulations!
Thanks so much, Elizabeth!
Yes! I was just telling a friend how I wish I could just give up on social media and focus on my blog. I’m glad I’m not the only person feeing this way.
You do you! 🙂
Yes! My heart has been wrestling with this. My sister and I have a blog. We both suffer from autoimmune disease, have husband’s who travel, my sister homeschools and my health can seem like a full time job as it is. I had a blog called Valuing Today from 2010-2011. I worked on it quite a bit but stopped when illness came on too strong but ended with about close to 4k page views a month. Since starting our current blog, Sisters Undercover, we’ve been hustling and get about 2,500 page views with 2 of us. I’ve been wondering if having a blog in this day and age and climate can even work anymore. We get a lot of free stuff, have made great relationships with companies, done all the “right” things but traction seems to be hard. We are both working at least part time on it and I’ve been really wondering if the social media and all the hustle is worth it. I do know if we don’t do the whole SM song and dance, we most likely won’t get traffic to the blog. I feel the same way with Pinterest. I’m into keeping it real and not straging photos, but it seems like that is the name of the game. Okay, good Lord I just rambled on! You can tell I’m processing a lot about it! I appreciate the “permission” to not have to keep up with it all, just wondering where that would leave us? Hmmm
I think you should focus on what brings you joy and what gives the best return on investment. Hopefully, you can find some spaces where those two things intersect and then just focus on those and let all the other things that people tell you you “should do” go.
Thank you for your response! That’s exactly where the Lord has brought me over the last few days and you saying it as well was confirmation. Thank you! Thank you!
Oh how I love your recents posts. I’m in the process of starting my blog but couldn’t narrow down my niche yet. You’ve given me the freedom to write about what my passions are. I also am glad you gave me “permission” to break the rules. I’m such a rule follower anyway, it feels good to be able to do what I want to. Thanks for such wonderful articles. I’m hoping to launch my blog sometime next month!
How exciting that you are launching your blog soon! Way to go! I’m cheering for you!
Thank you for this post! I was recently encouraged to share my blog on social media. I’ve been writing there for months but have not wanted to share it for two reasons. First, I am terrified because social media is basically a stomping grounds for offenses -the person that encouraged me to share it helped me see past this first one. Second, I have kept it private for the reason that this is real life and my posts are irregular – your post encouraged me that this is normal – thank you! Now I feel the day I’ve dreaded has come and honestly feel God has asked me to take this step and even though I am still terrified and still have days and maybe weeks I don’t post, I’m ready to step forward.
What would your advice be for someone in my position? How do you “introduce” a blog on social media?
Do you feel like what you have to share would bless and impact others? If so, then by not sharing it, you’re not stewarding what God has given you to share, right?
Starting from this frame of mind really helps me. It’s not about me; it’s about blessing and helping and inspiring other people — and honoring God with my life.
I’d recommend setting up separate social media for your blog and sharing new blog posts there. Then, invite those who follow you on social media to come follow you over on your blog-specific social media platforms. That way, you know that those who follow you there are specifically interested in what you have to share. And those who aren’t, aren’t obligated to follow you.
This way, you’re not bombarding people on your personal social media with links to your blog, etc.
This is SO encouraging. I used to love browsing Pinterest but ever since it was taken over by bloggers and became a search engine, it’s just not as fun. I feel obligated to post there regularly which leaves me little time to just “play” there.
I’m so glad that you found this encouraging!
Thank you! I have navigated the blogging world for quite a few years. When I first started, it was on the homeschool blogging network, mainly to share what we were doing since my parent’s live out of state.
Fast forward many years later, my blog has morphed into a place where I share a lot about Compassion International and how to build a relationship with the children we sponsor through letter writing.
I have been overwhelmed by all the things out there that bloggers ‘should do’ in order to be ‘successful’. Honestly, at this point, I am not really concerned about being a ‘successful’ blogger. If I can help one Compassion sponsor be more excited about writing letters to their sponsored child, then I consider that a success!
I look forward to reading more about what you will be sharing here!
“If I can help one Compassion sponsor be more excited about writing letters to their sponsored child, then I consider that a success!”
Yes, yes, yes!!
I agree–we are now on our 3rd Compassion child. Seeing the life changing situations and knowing in a small way we are helping another person is so worth it. As a Compassion sponsor, don’t be afraid to really read between the lines in your child’s letters too. Our first child mentioned trouble sleeping in the rainy season. We contacted Compassion directly and asked them to find out the living conditions for our child. Turned out that they were living in a leaky hut. Compassion had priced out the cost to fix things. So with $250, we were able to fix their roof, add an indoor bathroom (their first time to have indoor plumbing), and build on a bedroom for our girl–so she no longer had to share a room with her brothers. She later wrote us and said that her parents (not Christian) were totally blown away that Christians across the world would do that for them. It was money well spent indeed to meet another’s need. And the witness of Christ will continue for years and decades as a result. All because as a sponsor we read our child’s letters and heard her heart’s cry, although she never specifically ever said what her situation truly was.
How beautiful!! Thank you so much for sharing!
Theresa, I love what you shared!
Hi Crystal,
Thank you so much for this timely post. I am a very new blogger who also has a full time job and it is all a little overwhelming. I am however committed to giving my blog a chance to grow and this advice helps me to breathe a sigh of relief. I am looking forward to all that you have to share on your new blog!
Thank you so much for your kind encouragement!
Love the great attitude here. There’s really no way to do it all for sure. You’ll lose your mind if you do!
Yes! So true!!
Oh the fancy photos and SEO and linking and formatting…. what I would love to do is just write and post, like the good ole days when I first started. God has asked me to write again in spite of my feelings of overwhelm but it hasn’t been an easy start (a newborn doesn’t help that lol). I am commited to baby steps of praying for words to write. Perhaps I should start publishing posts without all the fixings.
I love your baby steps of praying for words to write. That’s fantastic!
This is just what I needed today! I’m so excited you started this site, I can’t wait to pour through what’s on here now and future stuff!
Thanks so much for your encouragement!
This is great! Permission to relax a little…but not too much that I get nothing done right?…lol. Just step away from the pressure to do and just be what God wants us to be, having a fun time doing it. Thanks Crystal!
Yes! yes! yes! And you are so welcome!
Thank you for this site! I am so excited for you and to continue to learn more. I have gotten so frustrated in the past trying to do all the things I “should” be doing each day with my blog that I have quit blogging at least 4 times in the last 2 years and restarted. I get so overwhelmed and think I could never measure up to the other blogs out there. Thank you for your inspiration!
Thanks so much for your encouragement, Kimberly! I’m cheering for you!
Yay! So excited for this new blog. I tried to follow all the rules for growing my FB account and found that my reach was 10x less than when I didn’t follow the rules. I’ve learned that a lot of blogging is figuring out what works for you and your audience and not necessarily ever one else.
“…a lot of blogging is figuring out what works for you and your audience and not necessarily ever one else.”
I SO agree!
I love this!!!
I have been blogging hit and miss for a few years. Very often my health and that of my children gets in the way and keeps me from posting consistently. That leaves me feeling unreliable and like a bad blogger but here lately I have been feeling the pull to just do it. To stop trying to be perfect, post on a schedule and simply share my story, tips and trials.
I have several posts already on paper and believe I will go ahead, type them up and get them scheduled this weekend. Minus all those fancy photos you spoke about struggling. Writing and creating is my strength NOT photos, photoshop or social media. It is great to hear I am not the only one. Thank you for being so open.
“To stop trying to be perfect, post on a schedule and simply share my story, tips and trials.”
YES! Do it! I’m cheering for you!
A friend just shared your new site with me and when I saw this post I had to stop everything I was doing and read and I’m glad I did. Thank you so much I’m loving this! I’ve been frustrated as I slowly move forward. I spent the funds on fancy courses, paid for a redesign which took me to WP and you’re right when I just write from the heart everybody loves that the most. I’m happy to say I have narrowed down what I love doing which has really helped. It’s the comparing to others that bites! That entire social media thing drives me crazy because I don’t want to be chained to a screen. With all that I refuse to give up because I really do enjoy blogging.
Don’t give up!! Focus on what sparks joy and brings fulfillment to you and tune out the noise that is making you feel like you are less than, not enough, or need to do more. Just be you!
So excited for this new website, and I’m looking forward to the next one very much as well! I am taking the steps to launch an online store currently, but I feel like the Lord is nudging me to write too… Well, that’s a lot more work than what I was anticipating when I decided to do a store! I’m excited to have this as a resource if I ever make that plunge.
Thanks so much for your encouragement, Chelsea!
Everyone has their own set of blogging rules it seems. One “expert” does this, another does that, and if you try to follow all the rules, it definitely leads to overwhelm! I love your advice of focusing on one piece at a time. Once it becomes second nature, adding another task isn’t nearly as hard. Small steps overtime can lead to huge results.
I’m loving your new blog!
Thank you so much, Lisa! And there’s so much good truth others need to be reminded of in your comment here!
Love this so much! I want to be you when I grow up lol.
Aw, you’re too sweet!
I’m a rule follower – my husband is a rule breaker. He’s been encouraging me to find the “next Pinterest” and be an early adopter. Forget what everyone else is doing, he says. Lol. I did recently realize that the niche I was planning on is a bit oversaturatrd right now (simple living), so I decide to take that under the “big family” niche along with other things I’m passionate about. I do think focus helps. Thanks for the recommendation for separate social media accounts. I need to make the plunge.
You can do it! I’m cheering for you!
Could it possibly be that simple? I’m trying to get a blog set up for the first time and agonizing over all sorts of issues–techie stuff, a good theme so I don’t start with a freebie theme and then want to switch a bunch of work over to a better one, logo & branding, and one other just kind of large general problem.
Everyone instructing new bloggers out there tells you to be specific and pick out a limited niche to go with and I just can’t get there! I’m a nearly 67 year old retired lady–with years of learning, experiencing and just living through a large variety of interests and events–who loves to write. I enjoy helping people and want to do like five categories–but there are those “rules” again. I’m getting tech choices narrowed down, have my domain, and am jotting post ideas, but I may just have to go with my five category blog and to heck with the rules–hey?
I do love Pinterest though so that may help as I would like to supplement a little bit of income eventually as I may not be able to physically do my current side hustles later on. On the other hand, I have a Facebook account with only one “friend”. lol It’s my graduate school granddaughter who is currently almost 2,000 miles away, so I can see photos and things when she alerts me–but I don’t want to see it all! Even my daughter still remains “unfriended” in my friend request list–but she laughs about it & I can see her any time 10 blocks away.
Thanks for sharing even though you ARE one of the big bloggers we’re all in awe of and somewhat scared of! P.S. Sorry for length–I sort of like to write maybe a little too much…
P.P.S. I changed my mind about not listing a website–I need to put my plans out there in public so I can hold myself to my commitment!! My blog won’t be launched for awhile yet, but my blog name (minus the .com) does come up on several pages of Google results as I’ve been using it for a nickname for years. My Pinterest boards are wildly varied and fairly large–some of them are the Google links, but no–I’m not writing a blog about dolls (unless I decide to make a sixth category)! My other categories are much more widely appreciated subjects. The little blue cottage greenhouse with pink roses in the front in Google Images is mine. Thanks again Crystal, for letting us breathe a sigh of relief about rules!
YAY! I’m so glad you listed your website! Way to go!!
I SO get you! I have way too many interests to narrow a blog down to a really specific and tiny niche. I would never be blogging if I felt like I had to stick to something like that! I’d get so bored and feel so frustrated that I couldn’t write about all the things I want to write about!
I’m easily overwhelmed and inundated with information about what I should be doing coming at me from every direction. I’m glad I’m not the only one who wants to stay true to my voice and stick to why I started the blog in the first place.
This is a very timely reminder as not much is going my way lately in terms of pageviews and income lately. Just have to keep my head up and just keep swimming….
Yes! Keep your head up and keep swimming! I’m cheering for you!
This post came at the exact time I needed to hear it. I’m just in the process of setting up my blog and wanted to do something that totally breaks the rules. Everyone I asked has discouraged me from doing it. Cause, of course, it ‘breaks the rules’. I think I’m going to go ahead and give it a try. Thank you for the message I needed to hear.
Go you!!
Thank you, thank you, thank you. Love this!!
You’re so welcome!
Thank you for summing that up in the way you did. Wow! Blogging seems to be at a whole new level. It’s nice to know that I can proceed with my passion without having to be like everyone else. Thank you for sharing all of your tips!!
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You are so welcome, Jodi!
I love this!!! Thank you so much for all of your encouragement to everyone. Love the new blog!!
Thank you for your encouragement, Tracie!
I love this! Thank you so much for writing it…sometimes when I see recipes on blogs, I am so overwhelmed by all the pictures…there are far too many and it makes a webpage hard to load, especially on mobile. I wish people realized that, often, simple is better and more appreciated!
Thanks so much for your encouragement!
So happy you started this blog Crystal, and I couldn’t agree more regarding breaking the blogging rules! In fact, I think the thing that hindered my progress for so many years was reading what I ‘should’ be doing/writing and not following that which brings me joy and also that which brings my readers joy. It’s really all about the overlap, as you mentioned in a comment above.
Thanks so much for your kind encouragement, Elizabeth!
Thanks for a great post! It’s so challenging to figure out (and prioritize) in life. I love your idea that, “real-life trumps blogging”, and wholeheartedly agree!
Thanks so much for your encouragement!
Yes! The fact of the matter is that blogging is a solo gig. All our rules and deadlines are self-imposed. We need to get over ourselves and not be slaves to our online businesses.
I’ve seen so many bloggers try to do all the things, and then they get burned out and quit.
I’m so glad you are sharing that it’s okay to relax the rules and deadlines and self-imposed stress.
“We need to get over ourselves and not be slaves to our online businesses.”
Yes, SO true!
I’m so behind on reading email that I didn’t realize you already had this whole website running. Love this post!! So inspiring.
Thanks so much for your encouragement!
I loved this post!! I’ve been blogging for a year now and get very discouraged. I read what others write and try to do everything to grow my blog following their rules. I refuse to do every available social media because I know it would consume me! I just recently opened up a business Facebook page for my blog in order to qualify for sponsors to work with me. I have to have multiple social media accounts. Now I can’t get my Facebook page to grow. I don’t do Twitter nor Instagram. Sometimes I wonder if it’s even possible for my blog to prosper. It’s a food blog and I discovered I LOVE taking food pics! I have 6 kids and they never sit still for anything and food, well, it just sits. LOL! I’ve had many pics accepted onto Foodgawker and that’s supposed to be one of the top traffic sources. I get some traffic, but I’m not getting alot of subscribers. I’m committed to.one more year before giving up
It is so very hard to grow a blog without tons of social media. I really enjoyed your aspect.on breaking the rules!
I would encourage you to consider Instagram down the road and use great hashtags. People LOVE beautiful food photos on Instagram… and hashtags allow people to be able to find you on Instagram!
I LOVE that you have this site Crystal! And this post speaks to my heart right now. We are in a season of overwhelm, going to Africa on a missions trip, adopting three kiddos, etc. and when I think of all the things I’m supposed to do on my blog, I shut down. And then don’t write for months. But the other day I said forget it, I just want to write. God is calling me to write. So do it. And forget about all the other stuff. Then I panic because I think, oh boy, I need to really do all the other stuff….lol it’s a vicious cycle in my head and when an expert like you says don’t worry about it, I’m done worrying about it. You bless me! 🙂
Oh yay! I’m so glad that this post encouraged you!!
This is such a timely message! Within the past couple of weeks, I’ve read a few different stories of bloggers whose marriages are either struggling or are completely falling apart. And while every marital difficulty isn’t because of blogging, in some cases blogging was the main source of contention. That made me so sad! And it made me even more sad to see other bloggers (in a FB group) jumping on the bandwagon to bash the marriage and sing the praises of a commitment to blogging. Let’s not forget that the people and relationships in our lives matter more than our success as a blogger. And we would do well to remember that many of the bigger bloggers who are telling us to do ALL THE THINGS have employees who help them follow all the rules and stay on top of the game without sacrificing their families or their personal wellbeing.
“Let’s not forget that the people and relationships in our lives matter more than our success as a blogger.”
YES! YES! YES!
Thank you so much! I just started my blog a couple of months ago and I’ve become so overwhelmed by all the stuff I’m supposed to do. I’m going to enjoy this new site but I thank you especially for this post.
You are so welcome! I’m cheering for you!
Seriously, a breath of fresh air. There are so many days when I feel like a “failure” because I didn’t want to do it like everyone else. I didn’t want to wake up at 4 am to work on an email list. I am feeling much better about the tortoise way of growing my blog. Slow and steady. THANK YOU for this! Thank you for the voice that it’s okay and best to listen to our own hearts.
You are so welcome! I’m grateful that this post encouraged you!
You have no idea how much I needed to hear this. I launched a blog a few weeks ago and then started reading – probably too much – and discovered that everything I have done thus far is “wrong.” It has made me very discouraged and almost at the point of wanting to just give up and wonder why I even tried. Reading this makes me realize that doing things different is OKAY! Being different is OKAY! After all, isn’t that why people will want to read us? Because we aren’t like everyone else out there? If I do things backwards from the experts it doesn’t mean I’m doing it wrong, it just means I’m different. And you just reminded me that different isn’t bad. In fact, it might make me enjoy what I’m doing all over again! Thank you SO much!
“Reading this makes me realize that doing things different is OKAY! Being different is OKAY! After all, isn’t that why people will want to read us? Because we aren’t like everyone else out there?”
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Thank you! After writing on my family blog for years, I started a new blog about a year ago. I have struggled with not only focus and time management, but with the idea that even on the internet, I am an introvert. I don’t want to be in all the places all the time! Promotion and hustling seems draining, and I think the idea of it all caused me to stop before I even really started. I hope to hammer out a blogging plan that works for me and my life, and make it happen.
You can do it! I’m cheering for you!
Quite ironically, I had a pin to your blog in one of my Pinterest boards! It was about how to never run out of things to blog about. I’m a digital designer so I don’t really blog, but I’ve always thought about doing more than just sharing new products in my stores or freebie posts. Even though my website is my designer name, I wonder if it’s okay to write about other things (recipes, favorite iPhone apps, product faves, etc.). This particular post of yours is the second I’ve read in the last week or so about breaking the rules. I left a message on the other blog saying I’m still debating. After reading yours, I think I’m beginning to lean towards just doing it because after all, God gave me more things to share than the design talents He gave me. Now to just do it. I think lol.
YAY! I love that it inspired you! Thank you for sharing!
Yes! It’s so easy to compare our beginnings with others’ middles! I’m excited about these new courses. Though I started blogging in 2009, I’ve totally changed directions and will be relaunching, so I’m thrilled with what you’re offering and what you will be offering. Thanks!
I’m so glad you are here! Welcome!
I love this post! This has been on my mind for sometime as well. I work at a local school 28 hours per week and blog part-time the best I can. I do blog with the rules they say. Like you said you will be overwhelmed if you do. Thanks for all you do!
I’m so glad that it encouraged you!
This was encouraging. I’m about to launch my first blog within the month, and I’ve been cramming and doing all this research to be prepared, but this was the first post of its kind I’ve found so far. So thanks for the simple reminder that I can be myself, no pressure!
You’re so welcome! Thank you so much for your encouragement! I’m grateful that this post was a blessing!