The question I receive so often from people is, “I want to set up a blog, but I don’t want to use my real name. Is it okay if I blog anonymously?”
I think it is entirely possible to have a successful blog without sharing a lot of personal details — or even your first and last name! However, I want you to think long-term when making this decision whether this is what is best for your brand.
If people don’t know your name and they don’t recognize your face, will that hurt your brand? Can you build a successful brand without a strong personality?
My completely honest belief is that, in many cases, you can build a successful brand and business without putting your name and face out there. But, in most cases, your brand and blog will be much more successful if you are willing to at least share some of yourself online.
People Follow Bloggers; Not Blogs
Why? Because people want to follow other people. They don’t follow blogs; they follow bloggers. And if they are following you — not your blog — they will go wherever you take them.
For instance, my friend, Tsh, made the decision to stop blogging and pursue podcasting instead. She’s not shutting down her blog, but she’s no longer personally updating it, except on rare occasions. She had built up a strong following and because people felt like they knew her and know her family, they were happy to follow her over to her podcast.
But I know that there is a lot that Tsh doesn’t share online. She protects her kids, she’s careful what she puts out there, and there’s a lot that goes on in their family life that she doesn’t share for privacy reasons and because that’s not what her platform is about necessarily.
Another friend of mine, Kayla Aimee, doesn’t even use her last name online. Her husband is a private person and she wants to respect this, so she’s really cautious with what she puts out online — including the decision to not share their last name. Her books are even published with just her first and middle name!
But she shares much more freely about her kids online than Tsh does. In fact, that’s a big part of what she writes about. However, she choose to do so without sharing their last name and without sharing a lot of details about her husband.
Both of these women are very successful as bloggers and business women and authors. Both of them have built up very loyal followings. And both of them have made very different choices in their own boundaries for what they share online. And it works for them!
Why I Don’t Blog Anonymously
I have taken a different approach in how I blog. I could have chosen to be be pretty incognito on MoneySavingMom.com and just share money-saving advice and great deals. But I believe I would never have built up the following that I have there if I hadn’t shared more about our home and family and life.
Many people feel like they know my kids and they feel like we are good friends — and I’ve never met them! They are loyal, faithful followers who will read pretty much whatever blog I start (well, within reason!) or book I write or course I produce because they have a strong connection to me that was built from many years of them following my pictures and posts and stories and journey online.
That said, there are many, many things I choose not to share online that other people feel comfortable doing so. You have to decide what your own blogging boundaries are.
So, with this in mind, let’s talk about your blogging boundaries…
Define Your Blogging Boundaries
I believe that an important part of really creating your brand and finding your voice is to define specific boundaries for your content. I want to challenge you from the get-go to decide what you will blog about and what you won’t blog about.
Many people make the mistake of not clearly defining their boundaries — and then they end up putting something out on the internet that they regret in a big way.
So save yourself the heartache and frustration now by asking yourself the following 3 questions:
1. What will you share about your family?
Some bloggers prefer to leave their personal family details out of their blogs for different reasons, including protecting their family’s privacy. Other bloggers like to share certain details about their family in order to connect better with their audience.
This is entirely based on preference and also might be based upon occupations or family situations. (e.g. You are a foster parent or a step-parent or work in law enforcement.)
I personally enjoy sharing certain details about my family in order to connect better with my readers and encourage them in their own personal family lives. There is, however, things on my “will not” list when it comes to my family and my content.
For instance, I will not divulge any information that has been shared with me in confidence in order to protect my family’s privacy. Also on my “will not” list is not speaking about any personal struggles or lessons my family members are going through. If it’s not my story to tell, I don’t tell it. Protecting the privacy of those I love outweighs clicks and pageviews.
When it comes to personal information involving others (including your spouse and your children!), always get their input before you share online. If I’m sharing something online that involves my husband or kids, I ask them to approve it before I share it. We also regularly talk about what they are okay with me sharing online in general.
I also think carefully about my kids and their futures. Maybe a story or photo would be funny to share now, but in ten years from now, when a potential employer is Googling them, it could hurt them.
2. Will you use your kids’ real names or give them aliases?
The internet can be a really amazing place to learn and discover new things. However, no matter how great of a tool it is for us bloggers, there are always things to consider when it comes to the safety and privacy of those you love — especially your children.
Some bloggers choose to create aliases for their children so when they share about them on the blog, no one knows their real names. Other bloggers (like myself) opt to share the names of their children with their audience. This, again, is based entirely on preference.
3. Will you share details about your everyday life?
Before you share anything online, ask yourself: “Are there details here that could give information out I don’t feel comfortable sharing publicly?” For instance, I don’t believe you should ever share pictures of the front of your house or share specific details on where you live or where your kids go to school or details so that people would know that you are always at a certain place at a certain time every week. This is just being wise.
I also think it’s important to be careful what pictures you post of your kids. Unfortunately, there are child predators out there and you don’t want to share anything that would in any way cause issues for your kids.
So make sure they are always fully clothed in pictures, don’t share things about them you aren’t good with the whole world knowing, and just be careful. Don’t live in fear, but do be thoughtful.
I hope these questions and thoughts help you decide what works for you and your family when it comes to privacy and what boundaries you need or want to have in place as a blogger.
Remember: You don’t have to share your last name or your kid’s real names, you don’t have to share where you live or where you or your spouse work, you can be very careful about what photos you share online and what personal details you give out. Not sharing those details will not hinder your success as a blogger.
However, you do want to make sure to connect with your audience in a personal way. This might be through live video or sharing some pictures or some personal details or sharing some of your home and family life. Sharing in a personal way like this will build a trust relationship between you and your reader and allow you an opportunity to speak into their lives that you wouldn’t have if they didn’t feel like they had that bond with you.
This is a snippet from my course, Branding Basics 101? Learn more about how you can create, establish, and protect your unique blog brand by enrolling now!
Kristin @ Peppermints and Cherries says
I have my name published on my site along with some pictures of my family. I really want to create a regular newsletter and even have a sign up form on my site but the privacy issue factors into me not wanting to include my personal address on the newsletter. I feel a P.O. Box isn’t a good fit and too costly. Do you have any suggestions? Thanks!
Crystal Paine says
I’d recommend a PO box — you can usually get a really small one for a very small fee.
Deanna Piercy says
Good advice. My kids were already adults when I started blogging so I never had to make those choices. I absolutely agree with you about not sharing the personal struggles of others. I also refuse to write negatively about my family. A joke about my husband’s inability to fold a towel is one thing but I would never run him down to others online (or in person, for that matter).
I have, however, shared photos of the front of our house. We live in the middle of 40 wooded acres in a very rural area so I’m not terribly concerned. If I had kids at home I might have made a different choice. I have become much more careful about not sharing when we are on vacation until after we return.
Crystal Paine says
I know some people don’t have a problem with sharing the front of their house. I think it’s just important to know the risks involved and to be wise in the decisions you make!
Kim says
This is such good info Crystal and very helpful. I live in a small town and am in the process of setting up my blog and starting my blogging adventure (exciting) and your courses have helped me so so much and I have loved them! I am in the mindset to use my real name and speak about my family here and there (since it will be a part of why I am blogging) but to use caution where needed and always check with my family first. I am with you in that, if it’s not my story, I don’t tell it, except with permission, of course. That is my whole objective here with my blog too, is to share my story and to help, encourage and inspire women in their lives.
That said, back to where I live in small town USA and I do mean small! I set up my email and all and haven’t started building my list yet, but noticed that you have to put a full address, we have a PO Box cause if you live in town here, that is what you have to have, no mailboxes here! But, I was kind of concerned with the name of my city, since it is a small town. I know I have to use it for my email and all, but if someone really wanted to find me, I don’t think it would be too hard, you know, the small town thing where everyone knows your mama and them! So true here! My husband said he didn’t think it really mattered and no one would ever go that far to find you, which he is probably right, but I was wondering what your thoughts on it might be? I don’t mind that some folks here where I live might know what I am doing with my blog, most know about our family anyway, and my goal is to reach a far wider audience anyway. I just really feel it is so important to be real and authentic and I want to be that way because it is just how I am in life anyway. So, what are your thoughts about small towns and using the city name in the email?
Crystal Paine says
That’s a great question! Is there another small town that’s really close by that you could buy a cheap yearly PO box at to use for your address that you just check every once in awhile? We’ve done this before as kind of an added layer of protection.
Kim says
Good idea! There is another small town not too far away. I like that idea and will look into that. Thanks so much!
[email protected] says
Hi Crystal !
Thank you for this post.I have a question how to get a P.O.Box address for my blog?I use mailchimp.
Crystal Paine says
You should be able to ask your post office about how to set one up.